This will surely speak to Manifestors, but I don't believe in sorting people by Type, so please follow along whatever yours is.
Urge and rest
Manifestors move in cycles: a creative Urge to initiate, then a period of deep rest. It's very similar to how pregnancy and birth work. The Urge comes naturally and can only happen as naturally as birthing (or pooping!). If you've been through it, you know when nature is calling. There's no holding it back. Every mechanism in your body tells you to go and sit on the potty and ride it through (may it be quick, short and smooth!).
And the rest cycles… hmmm. Rest is not linear. It doesn't follow a structure. It's not about eight hours of sleep, x hours of deep REM sleep, x sessions of yoga, cardio or strength training. It's not about the latest supplements, or balancing your tasks evenly through the day. Blah, blah, blah.
Instead, it's about being deeply attuned to your Authority: knowing how your motor centers work, what drives your energy in an almost witchy way, and how you rest best. That kind of rest rejuvenates you and carries you to your next Urge. It's the natural mode where synchronicities and aha moments break through and make you feel alive, and you think, "That's what I'm here for!"
The question I asked my friends
I thought I knew all of this. I'd been working it out by trial and error before I found Human Design, and even after. Then one afternoon, I asked my group of friends the most innocent question (and my longest-suffering one):
"How are you girls dealing with the afternoon slump, that huge energy crash?"
Because we all go through it, right? And of course, the answers were the usual ones:
- "Coffee."
- "Go for a walk."
- "Make sure you get enough sleep at night."
Until one dear friend gave me a tiny slap on the back of the hand (or at least it felt exactly like one):
"Hello, aren't you at home right now? You're not employed and working regular hours, right? Why don't you just go and lie down and take a nap!"
WHAM! BAM!!!!
I did the four-second pause and breath to stop my defences kicking in, but I still replied in my most embarrassing, primitive form:
"Well… I'm not home. I can't be at home, because if I stay home, everyone wants a part of me. My parents will come over, and each of them may want me to do something different for them, or just want my company. Even my husband or my helper will ask me for stuff!"
The second I hit send, shame washed through me.
Damn! It's so obvious I'm pushing it onto everyone else. It's everyone's fault but mine!
So I added:
"Actually, I got out of the house so I can get some work done. I need quiet space and time to build The Kin Surfers."
Of course, trust these beautiful girls to respond kindly, empathetically and rationally to MY RIDICULOUSNESS! Their replies were absolutely glorious.
The slump is a message
And of course, dear readers, by now you get it: THE AFTERNOON SLUMP IS TELLING YOU TO REST. Even five minutes works magic! Your body was not built for this Singapore meritocracy shaizen, the "LET'S PROVE WE'RE THE BEST WORKERS IN THE WHOLE WORLD" motto. Come on! Spain has the siesta, and plenty of cultures take a long rest in the middle of the day.
But I still have aha moments to share…
As the shame AND the effing FATIGUE washed through me, I ended up walking mindlessly in and out of the mall in circles, until I needed the washroom. As I walked back in through the entrance, I passed a much-loved local singer whose voice I've always enjoyed. She looked listless and a little tired too, but she held the door open for me without looking up.
Inside me, a mini jolt! Should I tell her how much I lovvveeeee her VOICE? But the second passed, and I was already a few steps into the mall. MAAAANNNN!!!
Immediately, I locked eyes with one of Singapore's top influencers, the "Bestie." She was finding her way around the lobby, glancing from her phone to her surroundings. Despite the afternoon, she looked alert and was still glowing, with energy shooting from her eyes.
What could I tell her? That I LOVE listening to her recommendations on how to live our best human lives, like 100,000 of her other followers and clients? That I'm always inspired by what she shares? (Big hearts here!)
But of course, the introvert in me walked away without saying a word. Within that one minute, every cell in my body had woken up, and I knew there was something here to tap into. What did all this mean? My Design Sun in Gate 47, Realization, was on autopilot.
The deeper message
"WHAT IS THE MESSAGE THIS FRIGGGIN' AFTERNOON IS TRYING TO SEND…"
I already understood Rest vs Urge, so something deeper needed attention. I remembered something from one of Bestie's podcasts: how reframing deep-rooted, untrue beliefs brings more autonomy and joy into our lives.
So where does my instinctive belief that "everyone needs something from me, so I simply can't rest at home" come from? It isn't true, and it certainly needs reframing. It's also terribly embarrassing to admit that I'm anxious about not doing enough around my helper, when she's the one employed to help me. I COULD NOT REST, WATCH MY FAVOURITE COMEDY, BE MYSELF OR EAT A MEAL VERY SLOWLY IN HER PRESENCE. I'm not joking: I have to stop myself from doing the housework alongside her. Having a helper is new for me, only about seven months, and I'm still learning every day how to make it a healthy, sustainable relationship for both of us.
And sighhhh, I heard my inner child all over again. This unconscious pattern, so deeply wired in me, was still running the show from time to time.
Please understand, first and foremost: THIS IS NOBODY'S FAULT. It isn't about pointing fingers: you did this, you said that, I did this, I said that. It's so easy to reach for blame, or karma, as the explanation.
The truth is, the little girl in me never learned simply to be at home, around family. Home and family were for eating, talking, sleeping and cleaning, with lots and lots of "acts of service" as the love language. To earn my worth, I had to be doing: performing, studying, achieving, even if it was just scrubbing shoes. It wasn't as simple as Human Design's undefined Root, the "pressure to act." It was my inner child's way of keeping me safe, loved and recognised by the people I love. I decided this when I was maybe six or seven, and I carried myself that way at home for most of my growing-up years. It was almost compulsive.
I also remember my very first confinement, the traditional month of rest after giving birth. I simply didn't have one (all the tears! because I didn't know how to rest). Everyone at home, and even the confinement nanny, could attest to that. It was so bad that for my second, I went to a confinement centre instead!!!
I have a feeling my friends reading this will be nodding, having watched me do it, and some of them may carry the same seed. Watch me at any steamboat (hotpot) dinner or shared meal: my hands can barely stop serving.
Part of it is so entrenched that it's simply culture, this sharing and compulsive feeding. :) But peeling back every layer behind every thought and action was a little sad, to be honest. It made me sadder still for my family, my siblings and my other half. Do they sometimes feel compelled to act or feel a certain way because of my unconscious, compulsive belief?
This is my mis-truth, what my inner child believed. Siiigggghh, long exhale. I'm going to have to practise letting this one go. Human Design can't fix this. Only reframing, and perhaps practice or therapy, will.
I'm very sure I can improve this.
So how does a Manifestor rest?
Now you may be wondering: how on earth do you rest, then? How have you got by these past few decades?
Haaaa, I do have a few good habits. I've learned to rest outside the home, or when I'm alone, by doing the most random, relaxing things out in nature or simply by myself. That's a tip for another post.
For now, I want to share one of my favourite sayings, from a beautiful, kind colleague I met in my late twenties. She was one of the most special souls I've ever met, with wisdom beyond her years. She often told me:
能坐着，就别站着；能躺着，千万别坐着。 If you can sit, don't stand. If you can lie down, never sit.
I hope she reads this, because she transformed part of that inner child in me. She taught me that "being lazy" can be deeply intuitive, even for the part of me that resists rest and works like the most diligent employee. Sending you hearts, Y.
If your inner child is still pulling you towards an untrue belief, I'd love to hear about it. Or share your own feelings, words or tips about anything here. Everything begins with awareness.